vulnerable.

it is already beginning to hurt.

"he was strange in his ways... there may be a change in the tide". - the tills

the eames couple changed the world together.
creative thrills and spills of emotions
in the 901 warehouse in venice beach, ca.

i am so close.... things are moving slow. but in actuality... they are racing with the speed of light.
tiny scraps of paper and pieces of creative thoughts in the round-about of my square.
now i rush and race around.
i took a nice nap yesterday.
it may as well be my last moment of sleep.

the illusion of time.


put on your dancing shoes
we are about to show the world
that love is a real bizarre
presence only one of
spiritual existence can
grab hold of.

the ones that rejoice in him
will be set free and will
forever live in his


sunshine.
eternal sunshine.

sunshine... you are my sunshine.

shades of gray.

I spend plenty of time now shading small details with pencil. They start to look 'real' towards the end, but you have to push through the unseen to find the final result. The lips series will be a challenge, my first one was inspired by the lips that I love. The lips that I have touched before in my past; tasted their venom.. become caught up in their poison. Once you have them... You always crave more. The lips alone will speak for themselves... Little quirks and smirks to describe a feeling once had.

So I relax, there is no where in this world that I would rather be. Opening up more doors than I know what to do with... I peer inside just a few. "The boy" stands in a dark doorway... With just a small light flickering. Candles lit... A luring grin. He bites his lower lip and lowers his head down, so I can only see his eyes lost in the brow. The shadows of my past tell me to be cautious... But a dangerous feeling is something that I seek.

Closing my eyes I am alone. I prefer to keep them open from now on. I want to take note of all the details.

whoa.

bloody morning makes for the best...
disgustingly ravenous bedroom adventure.

the destroying of the roof added to the dramatic effect. the change in lighting helps.

what compels us to each other like wild animals? what does this?
i said prayers last night to ease my pain, everything will be fine. i felt like i was drowning last night... now i feel free again. funny little prayers.

standing in the doorway with an electric guitar in the background... dark shadow sounds. the private party that has become our life together. we have this time to be in solitude, because it is only going to get more...

This time.. I see always.

"Is that a poem?" I ask... "Sure".
It was not, but this proves my theory of each action results in a different reaction, depending of course on the person's current frame of mind...

I think of it as my personal love poem.
That one day he may... Or may not recite to me.
It is rather irrelevant to me, I may fall down... I shall get back up.

Oh yea. I take risks. "Rambling woman.. With a gambling soul."
I feel I've aged myself centuries the past few weeks... So far into another world.

Last night I dreamed that I was fussing with my mother about how if she had more faith in me.. I would be more successful. Is it that I don't have faith in myself? I fell asleep early and slept lightly.. Going in and out with worrisome thoughts. My prayer practice has increased.. At this point, it is all that I have left. Prayer & Faith.

"sometimes not being there is even more punk rock..." -jinx

truth.
fuller and i are in LA and NYC and today we laughed about just wanting to be home at the show... silly girls.

my night was calmly bizarre. i had all the reassurance that i needed for one tiny girl.
i say my prayers, doze off and wake only to feel energized by the early morning hours.
i feel the need to carry on several conversations now... i listen to the tills in honor of their first halloween appearance in asheville on the east side... if only i could be there. it is going to be such a monumental show.. that only a select few will see.

but this is my journey. "wow, he really set you free.."
yes he did.
that is what he does when you choose to love him.