11.13.13

I woke up tangled in sheets with the boy, he was behind me. I like the feel of our flesh pushed together in a scramble of morning mess.

I could feel him moving around early, he was feeling to see how comfortable I am with him... Not so much yet. 

I don't like it from behind, especially when I am some what unconscious. I can't figure out who it is... Bringing back ill feelings from the past. I think with time I could enjoy this style with him, but currently I need to see and hold him. 

Falling back to sleep for awhile.. Until the roofers showed up. They begin work at 8am and will be for the next few weeks... So I will be waking up much earlier. We laid tangled for many more hours; I was so comfortable that I didn't want to unravel, I did not want the moment to end. Hours later I need to feel him.. And the morning is a good out-of-body time for me, it just feels really raw. I love it when we smell and our whispers are raspy... "Get on top of me..." The way he asks and encourages with his tone makes me crazy... I hold onto him and I already begin to feel wet. I am horny and emotional this morning... The sex was wonderful. The wetness and feel of our naked souls pressing into one another was such a pleasure.. I could have it all day. After he couldn't take it anymore... Between the banging on the roof and the erotic movements of my body... He yelled and I tried to feel it too... Just looking into his face, eyes... Licking his lips... It had become too much and we had to finish. I stood up, dizzy and went to pee... We had left a candle burning from the night before, and I was covered in blood. 

"I think I killed you.." He laughed from the other room. I was wiping blood and so thankful that I wasn't pregnant. The night before I had worried and began to pray that I was indeed not... I have too much of this world to change to be captured by the responsibility of a child. And with him!? Oh dear, not yet. He asked me the night before if I could see myself with them... most likely not, though I have no control over my life plan. 

We laid back down and cuddle napped until the banging made me feel restless and I was ready to do my own banging. When I am near him I can't help but to touch him... To be intertwined in legs and arms. This time I needed to feel his weight on top... I need to see his shoulders working... The muscles tensing and releasing around his neck. I like to hold pressure at his neck and throat, to see just a touch of panic in this eyes.. Then a nervous smile. 

It feels so good... Everytime. Is this how he is with other girls? I am only occasionally like this with other boys, so it might be safe to say... I am a rare breed to him. His words "you won... congratulations, I like you.. " ring in my head now. But I am still vulnerable near him... He could be just trying to get a reaction from me... Like a good girlfriend of his said..."I am not one of your little whores."