Those moments that are too good to miss. You shouldn't pass them up just because some of the details don't quite match up with your imagination of how it should be...
The change in lightening changes the mood. I am still thinking about our night, our all-night time to share thoughts. Why did I say all those things? It was very humorous. I keep thinking about his smile. Why must our brains capture a memory and play it so many times ... To make me want more. The time traveled too fast. Over already? Our time is up.
He complimented me on a few things. He seems.. Genuine and I want to just be beside him, leaning against his arm... Holding his hand in an airport. I want to run late with him.. Or be on time. I want to smile and be amazed with his brilliance. I want to share with people this sense of hope.. And cover ourselves with paint. I want to help him achieve his vision, his works of art that involve a muse.. A cat like source of feminine power to prowl through his photographs.
Why.. I am so pleased he just wanted to sit by me. I'm glad he didn't try anything.. The night was too dark, too late, too innocent too precious to mess it up with intimacy. It was all too childlike and wonderful...
I could go on for days, putting the pieces back again where words fell out into each others thoughts.. But I prayed to god for a boyfriend, a person to push me harder.. If he is it, well I'll take my earthly time to get to know him. I can already see the art work we will create.
It takes discipline to tell your body not to sleep.. Makes a blur of time that changes the shape of the day. Just a quick rest before I have to be in public. He text me a smile when he got home... I wish he was cuddled up beside me for my cat nap.
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