second guessing all the substance that used to fuel my desire to stay. this side of the country is still brooding with chaos, some see it as creativity... others, opportunity... but i feel it is a source of limbo. i am seeking those moments of "ah ha" or clicks of "oh yea" but instead i am exhausted from trying so hard and just stay in to nap. i can't even throw up anymore energy, nothing is tucked away... the hidden emotion has been drained. i assumed that i had stored enough, but i feel like i'm all out... again, too soon.
what is this purpose driven life>>>>>
"why are you still here?" she asks
over and over and over again.
over and over and over and over i ask myself.
so i loop the days
loop the desire
again with the passion
how does he do it so
i can feel myself begin
to cancel him out
i push because i care
i promise, come
back again to me
soon.
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