I lay in bed last night and listen to the silence. Only my breath is in the room; the solitude becomes almost unbearable. I can't find slumber, instead I toss and turn and become tangled with the blankets.
This loneliness is silly. This "need" for companionship is only human.
I've lost your interest and mine over the past months. I stop many habits, including keeping up with my days. The dreams are swept aside... As the fact of the matter does go... The dreams change and shift themselves.
I must become a part of something that is bigger than me. Perhaps that is why "home" is calling me back again... So I can feel the community. This trip has been such a whirl of "what have I done..." Now fall comes again for that feeling of beginnings with summer's end.
The novelty of being away. I thought about Alex this morning on my ride to work, he immeditlaty text me... "I really miss you and how close we used to be". I miss our time together, but that time has come and gone. I reminenced our mornings when he would sing to me... "Stand by me..."