Tuesday, January 28, 2014


"so let me ask you more about this...lifestyle".

if you step out of the box, what happens? the change in essence of necessity and then a bigger picture. stashing the "small" following to press forward into time.
i can't buy a thing other than food.. if it doesn't fit into a suitcase, well you absolutely can't get attached. wear the same thing for one week? no one will notice but you... you never see the same person twice.  no strings. no pets. limited shoes. all black. still face of emotion. no house. no car. no furniture.
i can't follow it up to detail.. but it is like you just know. you know when you have met your type.

she asks in amazement and curiosity. i am quite certain that i am also learning myself about these qualities. all i realize is that if you can't see the one... you may as well lay down to rest, indefinitely.

my nights and mornings are filled with the dark one that tangles himself deep into my... internal being. having all the right things to say... balancing each shocking statement to a perfect pose of exclamation. he arrived wrapped in an oxblood scarf... black dress blazer. i couldn't help but shutter at the parallels and it gave me a precise amount of anxiety through out our evening. i am still amazed with his presence in all hope that i will settle this love affair with it's final answer.

noon came faster with time's warp when in cuddled slumber. i wouldn't have cared to ever leave this mess of sheets if i didn't have to work. it is a dark pit that captures you and keeps you tight inside... for us to have all to ourselves. in this selfish pity party i hope to press him up against what i truly and honestly feel... uncertainty.

in a desperate chance of hope i am residing in the safety of this stunning life.

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