Friday, July 19, 2013

"you nailed it."

i like to dance 
on things
under things
over things
around things
through things

i like to think that the memory will last forever, the moment passed and once again the brillance disapates into the thin air of the above, layered clouds in the sky without meaning or labels. i wonder how he feels for the silence. letters and sayings only reflect an unfamiliar feeling that i cant ever describe. why is it that all the i've been waiting for is now gone? i want more time.. to go back to the side by side naps in a sweaty room. the dirt and filth that is two hot bodies pressed together all weekend. two perfect shapes that felt like .. a drug that i needed a drag of... please i beg of you to give me more. i need to feel more. the feeling of being held in a heated thought of genuine love. an innocent blessing of sorts that releases chemicals to push you to the next level.. in the name of love. 
but now i have to go. the mystery that is my edge fades into what he is beginning to know. does he  know what he does to me? can he feel it too? i wanted to know the difference. but it takes the light away.. takes the life away. nothing i can do will take the pain away. it's all a blur of aches and pains... but his voice lingers on.
i want to lay in bed forever in his arms..
but then the time ends and you can never get it back; completely over, completely done. it's like a death of sorts... except i don't want to think about death with him. it hurts too much... at least he is here on earth now... and maybe even thinking about me. i dont know... i should've asked. angels are walking around and i think he is one of them... so now i have only the past to remember. the mourning in the air will lighten the pain, please please don't let me forget. i just need a glass of wine and a paint brush.. maybe i'll feel something again. say your goodbyes... contain the feelings with a creative extremist movement.
i want to just say i do... say i promise to be with you through the good and bad. to the end of the earth.. i will stand by you. 
god wants me to have this love on earth... how else would i know his love without it. angels. grant me angels and i'll show you heaven. the unicorn life is one to remember... one to wonder and ponder.. is this real life. 

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