12.21.12

Life is full of ever changing variables. change is enviable, guaranteed. Very few things are guaranteed,  promise nothing. A few select breathes, and death. An ending is promised, even foretold. The epilogue to the story, all the books. Most people dont listen until you are gone. If I can have them hear while I am alive.. More power. But I'm not concerned either way. I have much work to do.

Another day in my quiet paradise. I am very thankful for this stillness before it is a whirlwind. I am sure it will get wild, worth the lack of oxygen and rest. The sunglasses are an important side of business. I must dress and act the part of success before I will ever become it. 

Without money ... Free falling into the future. It's a gamble you take. I risk a lot of things daily now. Sometimes my safety, sometimes my pride. I'm trying to be as graceful as I can. This is all the gift. 

So I step back and look around. Not a bad view. I'm excited for the morning. The inspiration, the attention to detail. The ending was predicted for today, but no one had time to worry about it. I pray to god that an ending does come, to the current state of our world. A bright future lies ahead. One that reminds me of my childhood. 

Where'd you come from... Where are you going? - the critters

                                                                                                   Visions of light 

"I'm amazed by your visions of light... When Jesus comes back I'll be alright".

I can't stop now. I was quickly reminded of what I'm working towards. It only took a listen and now I remember. I can't stop thinking of the possibility. Even though it is all just a silly dream. But without dreams ... Then why breathe? "Eyes are broken" I wish mine were some days... Then I would never know the details of the small things. The things that exists and are free... "Your rock and roll style is so charming... Why do you care?"  Nothing is free.  It requires a lot of time. Energy. Effort. Ease... Of a broken heart.  The past few weeks I suppose I've been a bit 'bland', the heart did this to me.  I am so far away now... Even the postal service is dragging out the irony of what could possibly be a pointless endeavor. .... When you wish upon a star. 

empty glass full.

Now is the time to stop and listen. What is that sound?  Live music always brings me back to life. Especially when it is meant for my ears only.  I want to slow down and breathe in the essence of what is happening.  Unfortunately I just keep going ... Faster.

The sights to see.  A familiar taste, the left coast. Seeing the surfers and ocean  motion reminded me that it will be alright. A few new sights and some positive ions; does  wonders with the soul. A new side of life, time to flip the cassette. 

Conversations with silence. Then thoughts to music.  A jazzy string quartet was the entertainment, a cup of jasmine tea.  Sounds marvelous. It is refreshing to see civilized humans admiring talent.  The uniqueness of the band was lovely, the company was smart.  I'm into genius currently, flattered with lost souls earlier, now I'm interested in the discovery of brilliance.  It's going to take a team of people, not just one, to build walls of wisdom with me. Several great minds, each one bringing a notion to the table.  Change is going to be the answer. 

"Once you set your mind to something, the body is soon to follow."-Matthew Stewart 

He sang songs of love and following your desire. There is something calming about the repetitive trance his style placed me in.  The strings danced around and gave me visions of the salsa number with him.  The contact of our eyes and skin, leaking out bits of saline and hidden emotion... The passion.  I lust after it for the time being.  Body language speaks volumes.

Discovery. Rest and music.  Rinse and repeat.  Feelings of empty.. Give it back to me, let me feel again.  The song by ray lamontange says it best.. "I've been to hell and back so many times you kinda bore me."  This speaks for me now, the fact I was able to hear it live.. Acoustic .. A blessing in disguise. I've been revived, the sound waves and ocean salt felt like home.

i'd rather dance with you.

i'm bored with words.  i create them so well its become annoying.  i'm just pretending, creating the entire scenario... i'm ready for some touch.  i want to feel it in my soul.

the perfect day was yesterday.  all my favorite elements.  it was so overwhelmingly beautiful that i cried.  all the pieces i'm beginning to find them.  it makes sense.  he is right. "i'm absolutely ridiculous". i'm just hopeful... i hugged her and cried.  we don't cry much together, we don't really even chatter much.  what we say is important.  she is my best friend, everything i strive to be.  everything that i strive to become.  she is a mysterious woman.  one that gives out all her love, she is so beautiful... so absolutely brilliant.  she has amazing taste in music and the entertaining arts. she is mother and she is why i am this sliver of light.

"dancing with the beast...it takes money and airplanes." - Toyko vampires&wolves . the wombats

if you love me let me go.  i witnessed the union of love yesterday.  my cousin and his best friend.  what a wonderful family.  it is lovely.  i was underdressed. "i didn't know there would be super model's there". hilarious.  i am a free spirit & sometimes i look homeless.  technically this is true, the freedom of travel.  it teaches you things.

the advice from friends is a priceless treasure.  they influence every aspect of this... this world that i live in.  strange times.  it moves faster now, so fast that my normal entertainments have been pushed to the side, only a bit of time to sleep.  i must move west now.  the time has come to go.  to go on the adventure that will help me grow.  help me to change.  i am letting it go now.  my security... my home.  dorothy said it best "there's no place like home." but for now i'm entering a colorful dream land.  when i return i can create a new life here.  one that doesn't involve the creatures of night, the one's that take your soul.  i need my escape now.  it's just too much.  "you need to go..."

one more slow dance please.  i hope there is one more left in the cards for us.