it has begun...
i am in a very weird place. it makes me hurt and i keep crying to try and ease the pain. the tension builds and i wonder if anyone will be able to hold me... here on earth.
for always i will say too much... i laugh uncontrollably because i know that it is "just fun" london says. so the spell begins again. he may have truth. honestly, these feelings inside are really just from the nerves. the nervous ability for me to keep energized.
this is the end!!!!!!!!!!!!
i must stop what i am doing and change all of it. i see now that my mistake is trusting in the vanity of it all. i must take hold of what i have in front me. who am i even kidding!! i am the insecure one here, i am the one always questioning everything and wanting and needing excitement and passion. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. if not that, well then i'll take a nap.
he kept telling me that i am protected. i have GOD.
i know jesus.
and honestly, at this point and time, i wouldn't mind if he came back to save us.
im so exhausted.