Monday, April 14, 2014

strength & ease.

 looking at the world around us with a curious compassionate mind. learning to reach from with in our core and then extend out. to use the intensity of our breath to connect to our truth. connecting and holding steady. allowing the breath to carry us further than our physical bodies could ever imagine.

the moments of our life in love is so deeply and darkly stunning. i picked my white roses i saw once in my vision... placing them on my bathroom counter just as i have seen before. i still want to pinch myself when i look into his eyes, is this true? our afternoon walk was perfectly placed and i can see now it was planned far in advance. i found a pile of canvas and frames that i collected for my own renewal. we took what we felt i needed... along bonito back to my apartment.

thankful that i trusted my instinct and canceled an afternoon of social interaction. lately it has felt so forced that i wanted to just engage in the universe and what she had in store for me.

he ran his hands along my thighs as i laid on the bed doing research on other countries death rituals... the room was dark but the light purple shadow from the bathroom and setting sun made for a crystal clear silhouette of a beautiful man. i've never felt such an intense magnetic pull to another human body... one that actually accepts my grasp. our evening consisted of much feeling... he played his new song to me, it captured all the emotion, pain, fondness and letting go that i have felt over the past few months. the sounds are so symbolic and i anticipate the end result being absolute bliss. "i want to keep playing with you..." his voice echoes on all the right chords... as he moves is mouth further south. i still think he is a mirage... i look down at him and just admire everything he does.

the ring of his phone over and over again abruptly ends our time together.. i couldn't feel what was happening next. my heart stops when he leaves, i become quiet and look down.. as if watching him leave is the death of me.

the energy is too much and i lay on the bathroom floor and cry... praying that he will not be taken away from me. i also pray that all things are placed for my survival. all of my needs are met...

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