something happens and its not enough
12.12.11 I just want to find the balance of being independently amazing & being madly in love.
Give me mystery & clarity. The west coast highway explains the feeling. I felt several in our short hours drive. I felt the past gone, yet revisiting for reminders. I needed to be reminded of the fragile line of love & hate. It's much like riding the edge of a cliff side. The mountains and ocean in one look.
The small chance of hope. The one second when you stop and worry with what you want. Breathing the ocean air in this town. Seeing the friendship and characters... Surfers. Familiar sounds. Familiar sights to soften the fall.
So I sit still and I am the normal consistency. The stream of saline calmed my nerves. You just have to release feelings. I suppose my mother understands. So now I get my life back... The following days will be important. Our small cottage is a place to rest and relax. Write a few letters and understand that falling in love is a process in the making. Our futures will collide soon enough. I will enjoy my last few lonely months... So I can recall them later...