Friday, December 21, 2012

"Life isn't always a happy dance... But it is a dance nonetheless".  10.13.12

Harmony is beauty ... Life is a roller coaster. The ride that takes you up and down within seconds, moments that add themselves  together for your past. Until it has passed... do you really get to experience the situation.  I can't see any instant future, so there fore I see too many options.  I could easily just relax and let it just be, enjoy the beach and the sunshine.  But I'm completely out now, I have run through my security.. Time to remove the blanket. This is where every decisions counts and the days are numbered. 

I was drenched, seeing my skin covered and dripping with saline gave me relief.  One that brought teardrops blended into sweat.  The soundtrack was perfect, exactly what I needed to hear. To feel. To experience.  I pushed myself and learned that all of my years practicing gave me success. One breath. Seeing. My body in the mirror, an image I'm not accustomed to watching... She has good posture. Better now that ever before. She is more experienced, she is ready for the challenge. The lost pieces I will begin to gather, to collect them from the world. From those around me, from my love that is so happy to see me. I have missed her so. Only six years ago we met three thousand miles away, during the time where we found our art. Our sense of self and our youth . We found each other. We found hairstyling. There is so much more to style. It's a feeling that carries on for a long time. Days.. Weeks... Months worth of self confidence. We were trained to give that to humans.

Vanity. I know I touch on this often, but it is a reality. The responsibility of a realization. I need to trust my stomach and stay here to make it  home. I'm not ready to leave.... Maybe one day, home will be in his arms.

Six years from now... I have this vision.  I pictured this life for myself and now I am here.  So my vision is secure. A place in my career, a human to love... A home, a few flights to the east coast and maybe even a child. If I am so lucky to create life... I want a team life partner. I'm not looking anymore, it has drowned. So now I look for me. She is worth chasing.  

(All the lights... ) 

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