Alternate ending.

I didn't expect to part with her so soon, but our paths separated. She doesn't see her path, so she goes about constantly discovering new.  I have to stop here and make a life. I need a place. I need space. 

Lesson learned. Life changed in an instant. Envision a new outcome, new future. Keeps me on my toes. Thank goodness I stretch, else I wouldn't be so flexible. I have seen all this before, I can feel the "deja vu". 

So I think I'm in the right path. Wandering along, it's dark now. Led  strictly on faith. Trying to trust my instincts. It feels good to be released.

I am a troubled soul though. The world weighs on me, it's not an easy life. As it appears from the outside. There is more responsibility than I even realize. To keep my mind. Health and body balanced. It is the basis behind my career. My life goals. I have a feeling it's going to be a lonely life... Yet full of so many relationships... I just can't keep them long. The dependence is too much for me now because my task is.. Unknown. So I must stay prepared. 

So the saga continues... Just when you think it is done. It's never done. Or over  I suppose. 

Can the crazy please leave

My body for just a day

And let me see like all

The other mindless souls

Wandering this earth

Naive to the power they posses.

So they cling to other

Beauty on the outside

Tricking those who aren't paying

Attention to detail.

Release this tension

That won't leave my shoulders

Carrying too much weight for 

One small girl to handle.

September 2012

the hope that humans are one

Loving soul connected by a spirit

That love can move mountains

And god created the world

That we can love each other

Truly and accept the hurt from others

That the faith keeps us grounded

And safe in vicious times.

The earth is a temporary haven

For good souls to convince

Others to join along...

Earth is their hell. Even then

They choose to not believe 

Sun tasted so good...

Until the last bite. It hurts.

Crawls up your spine and convinces 

You to look at the dark

Corners of people's souls...

Bringing out chaos and trauma

The pain hurts us here on earth

The lighter days are ahead of us

Where we will run with our father

Once again children... Of God. 

Sunset sinner.

The end of a chapter. Today made me realize that those times are past . Seeing the mountains and canyons ... Heavenly.  I imagine that heaven was a bit like today. The firery colors that changed forever, burning away the horizon. Setting fire to the static life that I had become trapped in. Now I get to see the la lights... Awake now the gold coast and all that shimmer and shines. 

The naked poem series.  Poetry in the morning... Start the day with addictions. Each one with a story to tell, covered in the running paint of controlled chaos.  the raw pencil lines leave room for detail and mistake. The clear coat to protect the ever changing lines.  

San Francisco... Gentle people with flowers in their hair. The history of the trip... The explanation of movement.  Only eight-hundred miles until the other end of our adventure.  The beginning of my artistic journey.  I have dreamed so much the last couple of weeks, the imagination creates all sorts of stories without a plan. Fill in the blanks for awhile. So I am hitting the highway... What a scene. 

Simmered yellow and gold threads

Laced about a cotton

Field of soaked merlot

And cinnamon spills.

The blaze of flames covers

Forever of sand and fault

Lines of fence and 

Barren lands.

Heavenly painter of the skies

Designed this one for us.

The crystal gate slides 

To the side for a quick

Desperate  glimpse.

Taste of molasses 

Taints the other naive souls

Roaming through 

But forever missing

Their purpose.

In the crease of great

And glorious seconds

With only one minute to spare

to glance at this fire

That saves us. 

sly fox.

the thing about three am
you never know what will happen
in a land of darkness
and lost streets.
miike snow made an appearance
it was two steps away from
the light that led me away...
the furthest from a clear stance.
infatuation is a more relevant description of life on the high land.
if u could see the eyes
i would.. then quickly press pause
to rest.  its a stunning moment to
realize the unrealistic.  today was a breath of fresh air.. the second day when the white flare is too much and
really just the thought of him & water
is enough. two in the morning doesnt seem that far away... i dont want to deal with it... its something when just "one song"
is enough to hold me down.

Poem life.

When lives collide
In our parallel universe
The ribbons & highways
That connect our souls.

The fragile dance of days
Jump around in chaotic
Circles when you are absent
From my realm.

The silence of flustered
Late night lost gestures
That disappear
In the morning light.

Don't forget to remember
All the little forces
Of coincidence
That brought us congruent.

The timing is off just a bit ...
Our days are numbered
With shortcomings
That inhibit our love.

until you use me up.

a quiet day.  the dreariness of the cold, the new surroundings seem a bit bleak and i have no desire to venture around.  instead the quiet led to a few new creations.  "welcome back".  only a few short weeks ago i was wondering this same place.

i loved waking up to the red daylight.  i would love to have red curtains from now on.  this habitat suits me... the dark wood panel and the small black cat standing guard on the top shelf.  i slept til noon because the sleep was so dream worthy.  i hope that he gets to experience a bit of this dream too.

i decided to not let it get to me.  i must stay focused only on the immediate future.  from now on the past will only offer me a better expression of feelings and also pieces.  pieces of things that provoke even more feelings.  the feelings that help you love yourself.  the self that is alone in the room with you.

i dreamed that one day i would travel the world and paint and write about all of it.  i have music too.  i would sit on balconies over looking the canals and the top deck of an island mountain gazebo... at a cafe table in paris...  i want him to be there too... only sometimes.  i also need time for strictly myself.  so i can reflect and remember our past... to see the future together.

etta james.  she sang about henry.  her power in her voice is unforgettable.  this is the music that last forever.

they can't take that away from me. -ella&louis

The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No, no they can't take that away from me
No, they can't take that away from me.
(Swing it, boys)

(Ella)
We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
(Louis)
(Swing it, Ella)
(Ella)
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of ....