i hurt for the ones that can't have time to be still... the ones that hurt so bad they no longer feel pain.
i cry for those that have lost the feeling of tears, the ones whose eyes see no sense in the matter, it doesn't change anything.
the loss of chemicals sent to the brain. i feel boredom all around.

i could cry for days, but why? mom said to enjoy my time here. enjoy the time to learn and grow, to spend moments with ali, who i would be so far from if i were comfortable at home.

i am sick today. my stomach can't take the grossness that is society. i can't handle disgusting humans any longer. the taste of food hurts, the thought of sugar...

i am sure that it is never going to happen. i am sure that he will never be able to love me, therefore i must give up.
none of them will ever love me. i am alone. i will die alone, wandering this earth alone.
please hear my cry lord.

DEAR GOD. SEND ME LIVING FLESH THAT GIVES A DAMN ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING. for on this day, i can't feel a fucking thing. amen