its a sign.

all of it is leading me to the right place. i am so very excited about it. the beauty in being in control.  i haven't felt her in.. years.

this time is what its supposed to be. it will equal to something that is exactly what i need.
i can feel the songs now. everyone is unaware of the truth.
i am so thankful for my life, i am giving away alot to be here. the unnecessary money. but somehow we keep going on.
there is a certain appeal to me that makes people instantly talk to me.
instantly.
the crowded bar is a reminder that i can do this... this is a goal.
reminding me of home. the dive bar by the sea. i found her left coast friend.
we are in it until the end. the real friend that you find and love forever. her name is ali.

this is why i came to california. to feel the
pulse of songs.
troubled is what creates.
magic


then i come home to you. and listen
they don't understand
the red and black accents.
a chandelier.
i pray to god & smile
because beauty is the small moments
the breath of air.
takes me there, to the present
leaning on a small notion
.your smile.

we were the last two they let in.
"yea, that was weird".